Charlotte, NC

Man, I said I wasn’t gonna do it again, but …

Yep … headin’ back to hill country to do some damage … er, work … with Ohio Championship Wrestling.
But, this time, it’s gonna be just a leeeeeetle different.
I’m goin’ into the event in-character. Right: The Rock Relic is gonna be workin’ the crowd this time.

Y’know, I’ve heard a lotta readers who (when I wrote earlier posts about my travels to Kentucky) really read me the riot act about the “silliness” of this so-called “sport”.
But, to those and any other nay-sayer of the shows, let me point out a coupla-three things, okay?

• First, professional wrestling is a physical contest; it’s just wrapped in an “entertainment” format. Whether the matches are “scripted” or not is actually a moot point; the fact is that they do work, sweat and strain to make it all look as real — and give the fans their money’s worth. It’s very physical.



• And there’s not much difference between a good “family-friendly” wrestling card (where there’s no obscene or offensive junk) and the rock concerts of the Sixties! If you want proof of that, just visit The Rock Relic’s post on rock and wrestling.
• But you’ve also gotta look at the fact that, honestly, pro wrestling mirrors reality! Uh-huh … because, y’see, we’re all wantin’ to put on the best show possible to please our particular “crowd” (remember “gets along well with others” on yer report card??). For some, it means taking on a different (though staged) personality (wait. You mean you’ve been watchin’ the political race and haven’t caught on to that??? lol).
  The only difference is that, in reality, life is the ring, and our opponents are whatever we’re up against on a daily basis. The hard part is that we don’t have the option of going to a room and working out who’s gonna win or lose! And our “matches” are genuine!

Still, it’s gonna be a fun gig. I know many of the wrestlers on the card (including a fantastic young superstar [and former high school English teacher!], Mason Raige [see pic at top]) … and a few of the fans.
Besides, I need a break …

For awhile now, I’ve been gettin’ e-mails from around the nation and California about our little neck-of-the-woods — as well as about this site and its writer.
And now’s the time to answer ‘em — and I’ll do it in three special posts two that’ll be included next month along with the regular ones, and one that we’re gonna do right now!
Now, I’m gonna do this in the same way I did with THE FORE INTERVIEW: The questions are gonna be written here just as I received ‘em. They’ll be in the italic print, with my answers in bold:

“Why would anyone want to move to Charlotte anyway? It’s like every other big city.”

Man, you’ve gotta be kidding! Why would people wanna move here? Well, let’s see: better living conditions, more available opportunity (notice I didn’t say “jobs”. There’s a BIG difference!), friendlier hometown people, and the best education a kid could possibly get!
And “like every other big city”?? Lemme tell ya a little secret: We were the FIRST to proclaim independence from Britain back on May 20, 1775 — almost a full year before the Declaration of Independence was signed!
“… like every other big city”?? Read the next question …

“What’s in Charlotte that other cities don’t have?”

Hmmm … have ya ever had Lance crackers (you know … those little six-cracker cellophane packs)? Or shopped at Family Dollar? Or do ya bank with Bank of America? Sure, other cities have those, but we’ve got the headquarters of ‘em all!
Or how about some of the best pet care in the nation? One of the largest number of churches per capita? And Pineville’s known as one of the antique capitals of the nation!

“I have a friend who’s been to Charlotte. He says it’s to (sic) rushied (sic — I assume he means “rushed”). How can u live in a place like that?”

First, I’ve chatted with you before, on one of my other blogs, so I know you’re from a small town in Missouri. You’re not used to a fast-paced, progressive citizenry. That’s not knocking your neck-of-the-woods (I personally enjoy the “laid-back” style), but, y’see, Charlotteans are busy going somewhere with their progress! And they’re determined to get to where they’re going!
We have our peaceful, laid-back times, too (just check out Freedom Park, the neighborhoods around The Plaza, Matthews and Pineville for proof).

Now, I’ve got more of these questions comin’ up in September, so stay tuned …

COFFEE TALK IS BACK!!!

Yep … the column that I wrote for The Pineville Pioneer, Pineville Pilot, SouthEast Charlotte News and read weekly in three other area newspapers from 1986-’93 is back … and on the web with new editions every day of the week!
The only differences are that (1) it’s no longer “hard-copy” and (2) it now takes on a national scope!
BTW, the first major ish gives a nod to Pineville, where it all began. Now, you can find (and bookmark) it at Coffeetalk.today.com, and you’re all invited!
Matter of fact, why not leave yer comments and ideas on it? What I wanna do is use your thoughts and concerns as topics as we go along. (And, yes, for this, I’m pullin’ out my old Eagle get-up!!)
So, as I usedta say in the intro of the old column, “C’mon in … the doors always open!”

Yeah, I know the pic shows Pamela Anderson, too — and that’s comin’ up in just a minute. But first …

A lotta readers around the world are writin’ in, wonderin’ if the news they heard is true: That country superstar Dolly Parton has died of congestive heart failure (this was reported by a number of online newsgroups, and a couple of hard-copy news orgs as well!).
Well, stop lookin’ so sad, ’cause it isn’t true at all! In fact, Dolly played a show at her theme park (Dollywood) just a week ago! She’s actually just takin’ a coupla months off before she gets on the road again on Oct. 18.
The reason for this “report” (it’s actually a bogus one that’s been reported twice over the past two years)? The lady’s lost quite a few pounds — and, of course, the tabs and ‘razzis take that and say it’s because “she’s dying,” or “has an incurable disease” or something.
Trust me — she’s doin’ fine at this writing.

Now … about Pamela Anderson. Since her “career” seems to be stagnant right now, she went lookin’ for a decent manager. So who came to the rescue? A fellow that Courtney Love recommended: A guy named … Peter Asher! (That’s right … the one of “______ and Gordon” fame.)
And why not?? I mean, sure, Courtney Love isn’t exactly on top of the charts, but Pete did produce legends like James Taylor, Linda Ronstadt and others! Who knows what he’ll do for Pamela? Just give it a little time, and we’ll find out. (incidentally, P & G are still performing! Ya just can’t beat quality!)

The word on the Wire is that recently non-retired superdiva Cher is in talks to become the new Catwoman in the next Batman movie! She’s not sayin’ yes or no, but — hey, anything’s possible, right?
Suuuuure … we all remember Catwoman bein’ played so well (on the TV Batman) by Eartha Kitt. And, yes, Cher does have a slim, sorta sexy figure after all these years.
But does that give the producers a right to trade Kitt for her kaboodle? Ahhhh, well …

HEY! Here’s some interesting news: GQ Magazine has just named Tony Bennett as one of their famous “Men Of The Year”!. He’s gonna be honored on September 3 at a tribute to him in London. (Listen, Tony deserves it! This crooner/artist is one of the nicest and most sincere of the “pop” bunch!) So CONGRATS, Tony on a prop well-deserved.

THE “GROUPLY” SCAM

Well, The Relic said he’d get to the bottom of this unusual scam, and he has! Seems that there is a “Bob Steed” aka “Bob Postie”, and, according to him, someone had stolen his identity.
He apologizes to everyone who fell prey to this scheme!
I know that can happen, so apology accepted, Bob! As soon as we can find out who this thief is, we oughtta barbecue his as I said a coupla posts ago, be sure to change your password if you’ve sent it out to this “Grouply” thing. That’ll stop him dead-in-his-tracks!

Okay … so I was (nearly) scammed yesterday (hey … I am HUMAN, y’know …). Here’s what happened (and, listen … keep yer eyes peeled, okay? It could happen to you!):

As most of you know, I’ve got a popular identity as The Rock Relic — thus, I subscribe to different legit oldies-rock music groups on the web. Well, a “member” of one of these groups (turns out, he wasn’t part of it at all!) emailed and invited me to join some new “group” called Grouply. Heard of it yet? Well, if yer in the entertainment biz, you might yet …

Anyway, the dude who invited me (some freak named Bob Steed … aka Bob Postie) asked for my Yahoo! address and password (yeah? I was dumb enough … I’ll admit that. But, then again, how well does your judgment work after a straight-48?).

No other word from the guy or the “group”; normally, legit ones send welcome emails, tutorial or user/password reminders). From this goon, not a word …

BUT …

I did get a zillion (okay … one-hundred-ten, then) emails on some of the worst topics imaginable (no, I deleted all of ‘em!).

Worse than that, though, was realizing what I’d done and that this creep could be sendin’ emails out from my inbox (remember, he had the password!).

So I checked my “sent” folder. Nothing. But there was one little ditty in my draft section … and, man, it coulda gone off like a bomb if the perp had sent it!

Now, I know a lot of folks around the QC who’s involved in music in every capacity — a few news reporters, and some TV people. If any are reading this, remember:

GROUPLY IS A FRAUD!! TREAT IT (and any emails from a “Bob Postie”) AS SUCH!!

I know this is a short one, and has no other news in it, but THIS is something that’s gotta be spread … (oh, yeah … I changed my passwords to all my sites after gettin’ the 411 from my musical mates in the UK and California)

Remember the last words of Emo Phillips in concert? Ahhh, well … live and learn!”

So just consider this a “heads-up” from someone who does and has …

I suppose that’s the best thing you could say about Sen. Obama’s choice for VP yesterday (actually, it was final on Thursday): He’s just “Biden” his time …

Actually, no matter which side of the fence we’re sittin’ on, it’s not exactly fair to say we know what’s gonna happen if Barack gets in, or we’re sure that Sen. Joe’s gonna do this-or-that, ’cause we don’t.
The old adage, “Politics makes strange bedfellows” is true; once a person gets into public office, he or she can change, modify or solidify their stances as well as personalities.

As I recall, many of us thought that Cheney was straight-laced, no-nonsense; that Gov. Spitzer was going to be hard-working and dedicated (yeah. We did find out “at what”, didn’t we??).
By the same token, some of us even thought that gospel tenor Bill Hefner, when he won the 7th District seat in the House from Iredell, he was gonna fold Yet, he stood strong in the midst of the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, even quoting from the Bible on Capitol grounds! Remember, it was dangerous to do that, even back then!

So how’s Joe Biden gonna be of benefit to the Obama campaign?? Will he make a good VP?? Lemme hear from ya! Write me or leave a comment here, okay?? Just keep it clean …

PROMOTIONS, PROMOTIONS

Whether we work for a big corporation or have just a small, one-man operation, we all know that the most important thing about turning a profit is to get the word out so people will know who you are and what you have to offer!
It used to be that the item -of-choice were the matchbook covers (remember?) and others like calendars and pens! But now there’s a tremendous assortment of items that you can use to promote your business!
And the site I’m about to give you the link for has some fantastic selections, from apparel to travel and everything in-between! Their prices are unbeatable, but that’s only part of what they have to offer!
You’ll also have a products guarantee, rush production, logo and design assistance, virtual proofs and much more! In fact, you can even shop for Eco-Friendly items (these are sure to boost your company’s popularity!)
Believe me, you can’t go wrong — and will enjoy the profits — by clicking on this link for the best promotional items in the business!!

Y’know, the more I read Mary Curtis’ blog in The Charlotte Observer on-line edition, the more I like her!
Today, she covered the need for men to have physical check-ups. Now, I just had mine, and, while I’m in good shape (cough!) for a man of 105 (wheeze!), a lot of us guys (yes, that was “lol”. I’m only 58, fer cryin’ out loud! Geez …) don’t get ‘em!

Awww, I’ve heard the same excuses time and again: “Only wimmin need them thangs!” or “I ain’t havin’ no doctor put ‘is hands on my @!*%)” Oh, they all sound so macho and cool, don’t they??

Truth?? THEY’RE SCARED!! They’re afraid the doc’s gonna find somethin’ that’ll make ‘em “less-of-a-man”!!
But the real deal is this: If you guys are REALLY men, you’ll have a regular check-up so ya won’t haveta spend yer life with tubes, bags, in wheelchairs or on gurneys! Ya say you love life, women, cars, sports, or any combination thereof … why not take the sensible route and be sure you’re gonna be here to enjoy it??

So, guys, TAKE THE PLUNGE!! As Mary reminded us when she so eloquently told about Rev. Burke, the “biggie” for most of us guys is prostate exams! Believe me, there’s nothin’ funny about cancer … in fact, prostate cancer is one of the leading causes of death among all males. And 1 in 6 of us will have prostate trouble … so why take the chance and let it get out-of-hand??

It only takes a few minutes (shoot … ya stay in the waiting room longer than the exam takes!!) … can ya handle a few minutes if you know it could save your life??

Thanks, Mary, for giving all of us a “heads-up” with your fab blog! You’ve got a real fan here!

Okay … I was wrong on many points, but right on others.

A coupla days back, I wrote a piece intended to address the issue of colleges allowin’ their students to drink at 18; their goal is to curb “binge” drinking.

But (yes, I’m gonna print a partial retraction here, so hang on) …

After sendin’ a shout-out to mates in the UK, France, Germany and Australia, I do see a different picture. Stephen Weiss was right when he wrote:
“Nearly every other country in the world has the drinking age set at 18 or lower. We appear foolish to most because of our high drinking age - how can you have a country where you can be sent to war but can’t drink to your victory? Seriously, people laugh at us. A lot of people.

Most of these places also have much fewer problems with drunk driving, alcoholism, and binge drinking. My years studying in Germany did involve alcohol - significant amounts, yes. However, I also learned there how to moderate my drinking and keep myself from making a fool of myself, a skill they pride themselves on. Students are shamed by their peers for being bad drunks. I’m not sure they’d even know what binge drinking would mean if they had the term.”

That’s true! Apparently, the 18-21 bracket, when given the right to drink, does become a bit more responsible in doing so — especially if they do it in a peer-monitored atmosphere.
One thing that I noticed: Stephen said “Students are ashamed … for being bad drunks.” Unfortunately, not all young people are as responsible as that. That being said, I’ve got a question:
While it’s true that college students are responsible and self-regulating, there are thousands of others who aren’t. So how would you propose enacting this (should it pass) to provide a like positive effect to those? Lemme know, okay?

Now, Joe had a different, but highly logical, slant on this:

“At 18, people become an adult and are therefore afforded the rights associated with adulthood… voting, smoking, the right to enter into legal contracts, the right to join the military and die in Iraq, but wait… oh no they can’t drink because they will BINGE DRINK AT COLLEGE OM*G.”

I spoke with two servicemen — one who just returned from Iraq, and one who served during Desert Storm — and they said, “He’s RIGHT! It doesn’t make any SENSE!” One went so far as to call it a form of (his words) “prejudiced censorship”!
and to think that I was callin’ for the same thing … geez …

If a man or woman is old enough to fight and die “for his/her country”, then that person is old enough to drink. PERIOD!! I remember the days of “power-to-the-people” (the great “rights” movements of 1968), when we demonstrated, protested for the cause of and sang about freedom, equal rights and peace. We said exactly the same thing then (although, as Joe pointed out, you now have rights we didn’t have: “vote … legal contracts …” etc.). I shoulda thought it out a bit …

Now, I’m not gonna say I’m totally wrong, ’cause I’m not. But I’ll discuss more about this issue (and also add more of the comments!) tomorrow.

But, for all of you who’ve written, thanks. You’ve opened up my eyes a bit. And, if it’s any consolation, my international friends are unanimous: You guys give more thought to a subject than most. Keep up the good work …

I’ve gotta get on to my other work (my alter ego is The Rock Relic), so we’ll continue this tomorrow, same station — and about the same time!

The response has been overwhelming …

and, quite frankly, it’s brought me cause to study each comment carefully before writing any further dissertations on the subject. However, sometime tomorrow afternoon, I’ll address this situation again and use in-context samples of these comments within the post itself.

Now … for you who think I’m being somewhat whimsical in my prose style, I hope you’re satisfied with the way I penned the above.

‘Cause, y’see, it just ain’t my style! (I’ll explain in a minute, okay?) Look … I’ll admit that I didn’t think the whole shebang through before gettin’ these paws on the keypads. That’s why I wanna take some time to read … no, make that study (BIG difference, right?) whatcha said.

So, just hang on until sometime tomorrow afternoon, okay? And, listen: Thanx for the comments! Keep ‘em comin’, and I’ll put ‘em on here! In fact, I’ve got some hard-copy newspapers who’d like what you wrote, if I can get your permission to send ‘em!

ABOUT THIS “WRITING STYLE”

Now, let me get heavy for a moment: I took journalism, writing, drama, etc. in colleges and schools over the years. But I’ve also been a DJ, an audio producer and a syndicated columnist. This “dialoguish” writing style — patterned largely after the way a person verbalizes in informal situations — has garnered readers around the world and Pineville for my product.

Now, if you want the “Queen’s English” (I think the “King’s English” means usin’ words like Elvis, huh?), I can do that. But (as many of you know already) the best way to relate to others is to be yourself! And I’m as informal as a plate of grits on a cool Sunday mornin’ at mama’s breakfast table.

One more thing before I get off here and start readin’: NONE of our collegiates are, in any way, shape or form, “children” (other than the obligatory title used by the parents of these students) or “kids”. In fact, they should be respected for taking the steps to further their education and learn more of the intricacies of life’s processes! After all:
To THEM we entrust our FUTURE!

‘Nuff said. More tomorrow … be sure to tune in …

Man, are they SERIOUS?!?!

By now, you’ve heard that certain colleges want to lower the drinking age to EIGHTEEN! And why?? ‘Cause they wanna end “binge” drinking on their campuses! Now, how do they do that?? By makin’ it lawful for ‘em to get plastered at a younger age! (Ummm … is this makin’ any sense yet??)

Hey … it doesn’t matter if they’re 18 or 118 (well, that would matter! In fact, it’d be a miracle worthy of a guest shot on Letterman …): If people wanna binge drink, it doesn’t matter what the rulebook says: They’re gonna do it!

But college presidents from around a hundred U.S. universities (yep, including Duke!) are wantin’ lawmakers to cut the guzzle-age down. They say the laws that are on the books now actually encourage binge drinking on campus.

Ummm … HOW?? Is it the thrill of breaking the law?? Or is it because security and regulations are so lax at these schools that they can get away with it??

Oh … wait a minnit: “binge drinking” … “on campus” … are we hearin’ special-interest here? In other words (and correct me if I’m wrong), change the law so this or that specific school can benefit? What about high school seniors who are 18? Or drop-outs?

Look: Research has found more than 40% of college students reported at least one symptom of alcohol abuse or dependence. In fact, one study says that more than 500,000 full-time students at larger colleges suffer drinking-related injuries each year and about 1,700 die in alcohol-related accidents!

So whatcha wanna do — up the odds a bit?? Try this one:

Federal records show that 157 college-age people, including those under 21, drank themselves to death from 1999 through 2005!

Still wanna change the law??

Y’know, it’s crazy! I’ll be the first to admit that I usedta chug, drug and bug-out (been totally sober for 28 years now! Y’can thank my then-year-old son for that. Write me if you wanna know how …). I wasn’t a pretty sight when drunk (okay, okay … I’m not even when I’m sober. But at least now I can take it … lol). The effects of alcohol on a young person (I’m talkin’ about the psychological effects. You know the rest …) can … no, are (whether in short or long-run) devastating!

So, IMHO, there should be NO WAY that we pander to these colleges, risking the life-and-limb of innocent drivers, children, and others … just so their school won’t have their students doin’ some “binge drinking” on their campuses (psssst … it’s gonna happen anyway, so the “new law” wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans!).

I wanna thank a special person here: Years ago, I had the pleasure of communicating with HHS Director (now University of Miami President) Donna Shalala who served under President Clinton. She’s one of the most outstanding, genuine and child-safety-oriented people that’s ever held a government post! And, God bless her, she’s refused to sign this petition! She says (and we’ve gotta admit, she’s right!)
“I remember college campuses when we had 18-year-old drinking ages, and I honestly believe we’ve made some progress. To just shift it back down to the high schools makes no sense at all.”

One more thing: Is it just me, or does anybody else see some irony here?:

We’re tryin’ oh, so hard, through TV ads and local/state regs, to get our kids to stop smoking. We say it’s “bad for their health” or “they can die from it.” But …

WHY IS DRINKING UNTOUCHABLE??

I mean, I’ve yet to see a fatal car crash, a woman beaten or killed, a child hurt … just because someone had “too much to SMOKE!” No, it’s they’ve had “too much to _____” (fill in the word)! So why not protect the kids from that??

Yes, smoking can kill you — over time. But drinking?? It can be instantaneous!

Giving the 18-year-olds the right to drink is like puttin’ a gun in their hands and askin’ ‘em not to pull the trigger! If anything, there’s a crying need to discourage that.

Let’s hope the lawmakers decide against these “special-interest” colleges …

for the kids’ sake!

Well, it’s now official: Two of America’s top sleuths will be leaving us … but two more are waiting in the wings, ready to take their place!

As we’ll see over the next few weeks, Gil Grissom, head honcho of CSI — the most-watched of the franchise — will be re-evaluating his role as Chief of Forensics and headin’ into the sunset. Taking his place will be a character (to be introduced on an episode shortly) played by stage-and-movie superstar Lawrence Fishburne. Now, you’ve seen him in many films — and, if you were really lucky, you caught his amazing performance as the late Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall.
But didja know that this humble actor really became noticed as a bit-part actor on the TV series M*A*S*H?? He’s come a long way … and, no doubt, his new role will carry him even further.

Over at Law & Order: Criminal Intent — which is now shown on USA Network rather than NBC (it wasn’t on CBS, as I earlier gaffed. Sorry … geez … the price I’ve gotta pay for bein’ human … lol)– Chris Noth (Det. Mike Logan) departed from the new episodes with this week’s installment (Chris’ character has left “to experience life beyond the badge”). Replacing him will be the star of “Jurassic Park”, Jeff Goldblum.
Now, while neither Fishburne’s nor Goldblum’s character has been given a name yet, Fishburne has some big shoes to fill (after all, Bill Peterson has been in the Grissom role for eight years!) while Goldblum will be trading episodes with Vince D’nofrio (Det. Bobby Goren). Still, they’re gonna add a refreshing style and look to the roles, and we’re lookin’ forward to it …

Now, what does WBTV have to do with all this? Well, Channel 3 is the CBS affiliate in the Queen City, and the lion’s share of local Thursday night Neilsens belongs to them. And, since Jerry Bruckheimer’s top show is bound to score heavily on the night that Grissom leaves, they can look at some serious ad revenue as well as viewers!
Of course, L&O:CI is gonna be on USA, so that’s up for the cable companies’ profits in both categories.
Either way, the shows are secure — especially with Fishburne and Goldblum on the case!

Today, kindergarten enrollment begins, huh?? Geez … how well I remember:

No, we didn’t have the luxury of kindergarten back when I was a young’un … but the teachers I had growin’ up in Pineville Elementary (remember Miss Beaver, Mrs. Brassfield, Miss Garrison and the “infamous” [meaning "tough but fair"] Miss Grier??) more than made up for it.

One of the fondest memories, though, came from my son, Mike, and his K teacher at Pineville, Betsy Blankenship (one of the most wonderful teachers ever to grace a classroom, IMHO).
He and his K-class were invited to the wedding of Mrs. B’s assistant, Theo Tolbert, and, of course, I was proud to see him so excited about it — Ms. T. was a fave of all the kids!

We arrived at the church and met some of his other classmates, then got to meet the “lucky guy”. He seemed all right — remember, he had to pass inspection by about 24 young people who were very cautious about letting their teacher’s aide go … it had to be to just the right one!
After the ceremony, the bride and groom headed out the vestibule door to a shower of birdseed balls (seed-filled mesh balls. It’s better to throw that than rice, since the latter can actually kill birds if eaten. Of course, at mine, they forgot the birdseed … picked up rocks instead …).

Now, in order for us to get ready for the wedding, I hadta come in from workin’ on our garden and take a shower. That meant the shovel, seed, and stuff were still out there.
Since it was too late to do any more work when we returned, I just “left it lay” until the next A. M.

The next morning, I was awakened by a “shishing” sound — sorta like … someone was digging in the garden! So I rushed to the window, looked outside — to see little Mike, digging a little hole. Beside him were the “birdseed balls”.
I ran out there and asked what he was doin’ out there … especially so early in the morning.
He shrugged his shoulders and said,
“Well, you plant bean seeds and ‘mater seeds, an’ they grow. So I’m gonna plant these bird seeds and grow some birds!”

Well, I chuckled — actually, I thought it was a tweet gesture! After explaining that birds don’t grow from seeds, I took him inside to wash his hands.
When we returned, there were birds all over the place, wanting the seed he left out there!
Excitedly, he grabbed my arm. “See, daddy? I KNEW I could grow those birds!!”

Y’know, if we just open our eyes to the innocence, the love …. and the ingenuity … of our kids, we’d be a lot happier people!

God bless ‘em as they start the new school year!

Geez … okay, so it’s my birthday … but I ain’t THAT far gone (am I??).

Yep … 58 years ago today (at 12:28 PM EST, to be almost exact), for some reason mama screamed to the world that my daddy was illegitimate.* (aaah, you who have birthed children know what I mean!) I woulda come to his defense, but what I wuz too busy at the time to notice …**
Anyway, the squallin’, poopin’, kickin’ mess that followed was remarkable. Finally, they escorted dad outta the delivery room, and I wuz born …**
Now … let’s move on:

IN THE NEWS AT THIS HOUR

Folk-rocker Jackson Browne is a bit miffed at Republican presidential candidate what’s-his-name for usin’ his song, Running On Empty, in one of his campaign commercials without permission. Natch, the McCain camp said it was the Ohio Republican Party (ORP’s) fault (ORP?? Maybe he just burped while he was answerin’, and reporters put 1 and 1 together [see the last post for answer]!). Anyway, Browne is suing ‘em in an L. A. court …

JIMMY PAGE TO CLOSE THE OLYMPICS?? Hey … that’s what the rumours are sayin’! They tell TRR that he’s set to perform at the closing ceremonies on 24 August, along with Leona Lewis. (By the way, London’s gonna host the next Summer Olympics in four years. Congrats, mates …)

SPEAKIN’ OF PAGE, here he is, lonnng before Yardbirds, Zep and the rest. If ya missed it on the old site, yer gonna dig seein’ him at … 14!

A QUICK WORD Hey … remember the book I toldja Lloyd Thaxton co-wrote with John Alston (Stuff Happens — and then you fix it)? Well, John’s in the hospital and needin’ yer good vibes and prayers at this moment. He’s one of the most positive, motivational people on the planet, and has touched a lotta lives with his advice and counsel! So let’s touch his by sayin’ a quick one, or sendin’ out some good thoughts, on his behalf! Thanks.

Well, that’s it for this edition! Until tomorrow (when I’ll will humbly hobble over to his keyboard, feebly take his old, wrinkled hand and, squinting hard to see the monitor [set on lowest resolution], try to type a few words to you young whippersnappers …), remember (HEY!! It’s a JOKE!! I hope …)

Keep your eyes on the skies, your feet on the ground, your heart with the music …
and I’ll see ya on the FLIP SIDE!!
* My dad was obviously very legitimate. His mother and dad, F. V. and Martha Carnes Hinson, gave birth to him on April 8, 1917. He passed away August 25, 1990.
** Actually, The Relic was born with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck. Having not been able to breathe for a time and with face mottled black, he was considered dead at first. After many minutes of attempting to revive me (thankfully, Doc McDonald succeeded!) and an extended stay at Mercy Hospital in Charlotte, life permanently won …

Uh-huh … that’s me — first cup clears the fuzz, second one brings the buzz …
Naaaah … you know it’s a squirrel (and who says I’m not a little “squirrelly”??). But, when the furry creatures come to mind, ya automatically think of what??

NUTS!! Ya either have ‘em, eat ‘em, or are goin’ ‘em! Now, bein’ a Carolina boy, I guess the first two are pretty obvious. But what’s wrong with “goin’ nuts” on occasion? I mean, in the good sense.
Y’see, we’ve gotten so pre-occupied with the bills, ills, pills and chills of life that we forget about havin’ a few thrills every once-in-awhile!

I mean, when ya think about The Beatles, only part of your memories are about the music. Yeah, part of ‘em involves their individual personalities, but …

part of ‘em also remembers their madcap zest for life (I had both at one time, but my subscription ran out on one, and the other made my skin break out in italics oh, ye of wisdom shall know of what I speak. You’ve been down the soap aisle …).

These cats wanted to hit it big (in fact, early-on, John would yell “WHERE WE GOIN’?”, to which the others would respond, “TO THE TOP!” And, lemme tell ya, they didn’t mumble it, either!) and they did it by takin’ a lot of chances. They had an attitude that was unbeatable!
Ahhhh, but the rest of society — especially those over-30 — told ‘em againandagainandagain:

Are you NUTS??

And guess what the companion line was? Uh-huh … inevitably followed by “YOU can’t do that”! So they made it into a song.

Anyway, I said all that to say this: I recently got some email wonderin’ why I don’t write in … er, “proper” English (I reckon she means “without contractions”. Ya can’t go through anything without ‘em, ma’am! If ya have young’uns, you should know that by now …) and stop “foolin’ around” (huh?? At my age?? Who’d have me?? Oh … I get it …).
But, y’see, we don’t talk fancy when we’re with friends, right?? We want it all to exude life and happiness. Well, the purpose of any writing I do is to liven it all up a bit … make ‘em places where every person’s welcome and has fun as well as hopefully learn something! If it comes across as “nuts” or “zany”, so be it.

In fact, I’m gonna add a libbit to the zaniness:
First, here’s that vid y’all liked, called THE LEGENDS OF DOO-WOP
(by the way, you’ll never listen to Buddy Holly’s music the same way again!)

Now, for the second thing:

I’m officially openin’ my new MySpace space as well as the new Rock Relic site. See whatcha think and get back to me … if you’ve got any cool local sites you’d like me to add to the ‘Space, just lemme know.

NEEDIN’ A JOB?

Though many of us hold some kind of employment already, there are thousands of folks in our region who are lookin’ for decent, good-paying jobs. Of course, with the economy being in the shape it is, a weekly/biweekly paycheck is essential!
Now, the standard way to look, natch, is to either scour the Observer on Sunday, go through the ESC or even consider temp agencies. Otherwise, you’re just poundin’ the streets, hopin’ to run across the right one!
But there is a better way:
In a moment, I’m gonna give you a link to a site that’s so unique and precise that you’ll not only have a greater chance of landing that all-important job, but one that’s in your field … and at better pay!
Y’see, they have various “channels” in their network that can direct you to the job tailored for you! You can post a resume, find industry reports and success stories, and more! Whether it’s by skill or by city, you can find what you’re looking for — and more quickly — by clicking on the link that’ll bring you a more successful job search.
So save the shoe leather and go there today to enjoy a more productive tomorrow!

Until later, that’s gonna be it for this episode … (oh … are yer friends & neighbours a little confused by yer zaniness? Worry not: NUTS spelled backward is STUN!)

Sounds like a country song, doesn’t it??

But what happened on South Boulevard this morning was hardly melodic: A fire engine from Company 12 was responding to a traffic accident, and an SUV collided with it just past Woodlawn Road a little after 10 AM.
Now, obviously all the details aren’t in yet, but it brings up one seriously valid and important reminder:

If you see any emergency vehicle coming toward you — and it’s runnin’ “hot” (meaning, has its lights and sirens on and heading to an emergency), pull over into the OUTSIDE lane ASAP and give em all the room they’ll need!

By law, they’ve automatically got the “right-of-way,” anyway. Now, you know to pull over to the curb when they’re comin’ up behind you, but didja know that, no matter which direction they’re coming from, at higher speeds these trucks are harder to control than smaller vehicles? And, normally, the truck’s size makes them an inch or so wider than the lane they’re in.

So, when ya see one approachin’ and its lights and sounds are goin’, play it on the safe side, okay? For you, the drivers, and the people they’re trying to help! We don’t need any more accidents …

KEEPING A-FLOAT

With the heat of summertime bearin’ down on us, and the last few weeks are ticking away before kids have to hunker down to some serious schoolwork, there’s a big rush to push in as much time as possible at the pool or beach!
Of course, the main focuses whenever we’re in the drink (be it ocean or pool) is safety and comfort. And, for decades, parent have known the value of good foam floats, lounges and the like to provide that!
Well, now, by clicking on the link I’m gonna give you, you’ll be able to get the best floats and rafts on the market … at great savings and with free shipping!
They even stock those adorable, inflatable baby floats and the popular poolside bean bags!
So, if poolside is where you wanna be, or if the seashore still beckons you, then why not click this link for the best pool floats on the market?
You’ll enjoy the savings and quality almost as much as the comfort you’ll get!

Shaft …

Whenever anyone hears that single word, they don’t think of Richard Roundtree; often, they don’t even think of the movie plot. They only think of one man … Isaac Hayes. He became the standard of Soul around the world — and especially here in Charlotte (anyone who worked on or around The Square at that time could tell ya that!) — when that song hit the airwaves!

Sadly, Hayes left this world — one that he buttered hot with soul — Sunday afternoon during a workout on his treadmill. Upon hearing of his death, the music world seemed to stop for a moment … partly in shock, partly in tribute to this giant who proved that anyone — anyone — can make it in this world, no matter their circumstances.

Y’see, Isaac was born in a tin shack in Covington, Tennessee, the son of sharecroppers. He was raised by his grandparents, where he learned the value of hard work — and reaped the benefits in the love that was shared in the household. When he was about nine years old, he entered a talent contest, doing a song from one of his idols (the late Nat “King” Cole). Though this cemented his interest in singing, in later years he dropped out of high school — finally earning his diploma at the age of 21, thanks to the urging of his former teachers.

Now, you can read a lot more about him by scouring the web than I can write here (you’ll find a most excellent one by clicking this link). But the main reason I brought up those first few facts is to remind you that no circumstances are bigger than your determination to better them!

Among all the lessons that the Black Moses, Isaac Hayes, has left us, there can be none stronger than that!

Brother, you’re gonna be missed … but your legacy will live on … and on … and on …

THE FORE: ACOUSTIC

As many of you know, I’m also a stateside promoter for the popular UK band, THE FORE . Well, Matt, Si, Luker and Spencer just finished an amazing “acoustic” gig on the High Street in Kent, England Sunday afternoon, and the crowd loved it! Oh, yeah … it looks like their new album’s gonna be called, RUN and HIDE! The title comes from a new track that got raves when they played it at Lennon’s Bar in Liverpool awhile back.

These guys are definitely on their way UP to superstardom! Keep an eye out on this site for further developments …

TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD A BIT

Gotta throw in some songs you can download:

First, a rarity by The Monkees called Calico Girlfriend Samba.

Next, you’ve got a Beatles number, recorded by a fan in the audience at one of their final shows. (btw, this is the famous incident where someone threw a cherry bomb onstage because he didn’t like John’s quote about the Beatles and Jesus (remember WTYC’s stupid ‘Beatle Bonfires’?). You’ll hear the bomb go off about a minute or so into the song (the Fab Four kept on playing, though).
So here’s If I Needed Someone.

Up next, a song that every high school rock band learned to play (I know The Ho-Dads did it at South Meck’s gym dances!): Sunshine Games by the Music Explosion.

FINDING THE PRINCE OF PRINTERS

You know, if your work (business or school) depends on the computer, you’ve gotta have a good printer to give you quality, hard-copy material!
Now, finding the right one for your PC can be a hassle if you’re not careful: You can go through the phone book, find one that might sell your brand, drive alllll the way over in this heat, deal with salesmen who know how to add unneeded “accessories” (especially if they get a commission from them!), then go through long lines and pay beau coup money … and hope it works when ya get home …
OR …
You can simply click on the link you’re about to see, and find just the right one, at the right price, and save money in the process! But there’s a lot more: You can also find scanners, fax machines and even greater deals when you buy from these folks! Oh … and how does free shipping sound?? You can find that on selected models, too!
And you can purchase these at low prices and on an extremely secure server! Now … all you have to do is click on this link, which will take you to the best printers in the business!
Go ahead and do it now! Why wait for your “prints” to come??