Charlotte, NC

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHARMECK!! If there’s one sentence that describes the beginning of ‘09 it’s the catchphrase from Monty Python:

“And now for something completely different …”

Now, most folks have made at least one resolution, right?? But, y’know, sometimes, these can come as a result of lessons learned in the year that’s just passed. One of my very first resolutions was made on December 31, years ago (and, fortunately, became an indelible part of this old bird’s psyche).
It was borne from an incident that happened on my birthday that year. That being said, here’s the Double-E’s New Years story:

LIFE and the REAR-VIEW MIRROR …

Remember your very first car? It was usually a sign that your folks finally trusted you enough to have some personal freedom and responsibility. Mine was an old 1966 Ford Fairlane — an olive green machine that ran as rough as it looked.
Oh, it was fine sitting in the driveway, but on the road, if something didn’t “clink,” “clank” or “clunk,” it fell off! And, whenever I went out for a spin, the vibration from the car shook my rear-view mirror, throwing it off-center. It seemed that, every other mile, I had to try and fix it while driving.

One Sunday afternoon shortly after getting the car, I came close to colliding with someone while I was busy trying to do just that. When I got home, I parked the car and stomped into the house, where my parents were watching TV. “Oh, THANKS, Dad,” I snapped in sarcastic frustration. “THAT car runs BEAUTIFULLY!” Then I told him about the mirror and the near-accident.
He listened intently, then, as mama reached over to turn the TV down, he asked, “You mean you were more concerned with that blamed MIRROR than you were with what was in FRONT of you?” Now feeling both embarrassed and a bit ashamed, I nodded my head “yes”.
He and mama looked at each other as he continued, “Son, you should’ve gotten that thing fixed before you went out!” Then mama added, “Besides, nobody can get where they’re going if they’re always looking at where they’ve been.” As daddy smiled at the wisdom of her statement, I stood there, thinking about it.

Concentrating on the past is like driving while focusing only on your rear-view mirror. It doesn’t take long before you end up with an accident! Just as you’d watch the road in front of you to drive safely, the only way to move ahead in any endeavor is to focus on what’s ahead … and don’t look back!

Of the Top Forty things that causes depression, retrospection — the “shoulda, woulda, coulda, didn’t” factor — tops the charts. Of course, qualified counselors and psychotherapists will occasionally use that as part of a successful therapy, but, otherwise, we need to get away from it as fast as possible! You see, it’s nothing but thought-poison! Living in the past while wanting a happy, progressive life is like wanting a smooth, fizzy soft drink — but drinking water out of the toilet!

The past is something we’ve experienced, but there’s no way to go back and change it. It’s gone. Let’s put it this way: When we’ve put our trash on the curb for pickup by the city, we let it go! We don’t run after the trash truck yelling “WAIIIIIIT!” We move on …

“Moving on” also means changing our way of thinking a bit. There’s a popular and appropriate saying these days: “If you keep thinking what you always thought, you’ll keep getting what you always got.”
If we’re constantly dwelling in the past, and they’re negative memories, then we’ll keep battering our emotional selves and NEVER move into any sort of wellness! Rev. Leroy Boyd (from Tirzah, S.C.) told me that “dwelling on the past is like walking through the devil’s back yard at midnight. You’re either gonna wake him up or step in something that’ll make you stink!”
Look — we can’t change the past, and it’d be foolhardy to try and relive it. But it’s easy to become retrospective in our thought process. The words “If only I had done …” or “I should’ve/would’ve/could’ve/didn’t”, or just a simple reflection on past situations can depress us and cause us to lose focus on those things we really need.

Now, when we’re lookin’ ahead at the ‘09 in Crown Town and vicinity, we’ve gotta make sure that we’re focused on what we’ve got before us. I’ve run across people from Fort Mill to Kannapolis who’ve said “If she’d just … we’d've had …” or “I wish this hadn’t happened …” or “(fill in the space) did this-or-that … and I miss …”. Hey … remember the resolution part: Do your best to make the best out of every situation NOW, and you can avoid most negative responses!

Okay … now, go on and enjoy the rest of this first day of 2009. Hope it’s a fantastic and optimistic year for you all!