Charlotte, NC

Ahhhh, with the threat of every snowfall in Charlotte, my mind harks back to the “good-old-days” (I have that right. Took me years to teach it to hark. Heck … took forever to get it to “think” …).

I remember the times back in Pineville — in Jimmy Miller’s pasture, where there was a big hill that we all coasted down on water-heater tops. Even when there was snow! It was fun … but, for some unknown celestial reason, God seemed to put an oak tree directly in front of wherever I was “sledding”. To this day, those oaks have little grooves in ‘em where my nose landed … followed by my face.

Then there was the time when, as an insurance agent for Pilot Life, I did what they call a “donut” on a snowy parking lot on Griffith St. (Man, it was so much fun, I went back, got in my car, and tried it! Awesome!)

There’s something serious about driving in inclement weather, though, but I’m not gonna discuss it here.

Actually, about two decades ago (or was it 1957? I forget …), when Channel 9 did that interview with a dude from the Traffic Department? He said the best way to drive in icy, snowy weather was offensively. And that, if ya had a skid, turn your steering wheel against the way your car was skidding. Folks, that’s wrong on both parts (not to mention the unsightly skid marks left by your car, which no detergent can get out!). Remember: drive defensively, no matter how offensive the other driver is! And, for goodness sake, turn the steering wheel in the direction you’re skidding (and I’m not skidding about this!). Otherwise, you could end up thisclose to a driver you might’ve made friends with in other times.

The most important things to know during snow (aka the “snow-know”) are:

• Be sure to stock up on a lot of good, nonperishable groceries. You know: foods that won’t die. This is in case there’s a power outage, or if the streets are impossibly impassible. Get about a week’s worth of ‘em. Any left over, just send ‘em to me …
• Get blankets, batteries (no, for your flashlight, unless you’ve got one of those battery-powered electric blankets!), flashlight (seeee?), candles, and a good kerosene heater (be sure you’ve got good ventilation. If you’ve got a fireplace, make sure you’re stocked with enough wood (unless it’s gas, in which case: nix the wood. It’ll make a mess, trust me!).
• If you haven’t done so, get your windows insulated. ‘Nuff said.
• If you don’t have to go out, don’t go out (unless you don’t have indoor plumbing. Then bundle up, take yer Sears catalogue, matches to light the Sears catalogue if it gets too cold out there, and some 3-in-1 oil so you won’t freeze to the seat). Stay warm and cozy inside as much as possible.

Oh … and check antifreeze. If she’s okay, then you’re good to go. (Really, make sure you’ve got the stuff in your car!) Of course, above all, use common sense and stay calm, no matter where you are!

It’s gonna be a chilly winter (even for hot dogs), so use caution, control, common sense and courtesy as you plan for the days ahead …